When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
