As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
