i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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