Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
