Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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