I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
