Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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