i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Pants are for mortals
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
