Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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