Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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