I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
