At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
