if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
