yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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