I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
