i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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