you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
