The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
