New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
