walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
