3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
