At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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