I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
