you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
