Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
