Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
