He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
