Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
