I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
