Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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