I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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