what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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