he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
