singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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