i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
