Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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