I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
