my sisters under your porch take her home
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
