They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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