from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
...so i touched it.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
