Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
