i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
