then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
