You can't special order awesome
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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