me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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