Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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