North Korea, Best Korea!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
