Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
