I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
