I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
