did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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