What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
